Preparing for Pregnancy – a mum’s view
Homebirth is an option most would scoff at and yet the latest research shows it is the safest option.
How has our culture arrived at this place? There is only one answer – FEAR!
Mum Carlotta explains some of her and her husbands’ preparation and their journey. It is important to know that your journey will be individual. Preparation is important in any field of endeavour. Great preparation however, is crucial for getting the result you want. Today there are many negative influences for Mums and Dads and our culture has a belief that birth is painful, traumatic and dangerous. That may not be accurate, in fact we know it to be completely false.
Would you feel more safe in your own home or a completely new environment?
Would you feel safer with your partner, family, friends or with complete strangers?
Would you feel more comfortable knowing what you are doing is normal or having a hospital procedure?
It is for those reasons a mum will always struggle in a hospital. With intervention rates at around 80% the figures tell the story. A woman must feel safe to give birth – her entire physiology workings of her body is linked to being secure. For some women the hospital is the safer option in their conscious mind. The problem arises in birth when the subconscious takes over. To birth a woman does not use her cognitive modern day brain. She will use her older animal brain that governs normal functions like digestion, breathing and reproduction. The conscious awareness of danger is at conflict with her animal responsiveness of wanting to be loved and protected. Try experiencing love with a stranger examining your nether regions! We have made it difficult for mums to birth successfully today and because humans are such great survivors, fear is the driving force.
Having been at home births and hospital births I can honestly say the two are miles apart. For some a hospital birth is necessary due to medical history and risk factors. Today the few become the norm, as is the case with vitamin K injections. One in ten thousand are at risk and yet we treat the entire population. Perhaps there is a financial reason for that occurring As with the vitamin K conversation there is always more to the picture than meets the eye.
When I suggested considering a homebirth originally there was a shocked look and the conviction that Dad would never go with that. After thorough investigation and research they were clear that a homebirth was by far the best option for them. Mum Carlotta was after a home birth but unfortunately went in to labour four weeks early and was unable to get that outcome. Mum and baby are doing fine though which is what is most important.
What was most impressive was the great preparation both mum and dad did during their pregnancy.
The preparation required in pregnancy is more important than any other time because it is the foundation of your child’s future. This should not be seen from a guilt perspective because that will be counter-productive. The motivation must be love because that will inspire and ensure clarity with what you do. At Pregnancy and Preparation we know that creating an environment that works for Mum and Dad will give the best possible chance of the result you aspire to. This is not always guaranteed because there are many factors influencing you and your pregnancy. Women tend to start nest building at around week 34 and that means they get the builders in and chaos ensues. The stress levels are often very high and they genuinely feel that this is required for a happy baby. It is not! What does a baby really want? It just wants a happy healthy mum and dad who can love her and keep her safe. That requires no special toys, no special decoration, no rebuild of the guest wing. Amazingly enough the things that are genuinely required cost nothing or very little.
Why not try an exercise?
Write to your baby and ask it a few questions like what sort of birth would you like? What do you want in your room? What do you want me to do over the next few weeks to help you be healthy and happy? Once you ask these questions your subconscious will come forward and guide you to your true desires. Then ask your best friend or partner to be the baby and answer the questions for you. You can answer them too then marry up all the conversations. Be ready for a surprise!
For more information about home births check out our interview with midwife Jacquelyn Crow.
Ali Strong – individual pregnancy and birth
Your pregnancy will be unique!
Many women think they should have the same signs and symptoms as the next woman and their constant question is “is that normal?” As Ali explains, pregnancy is individual to Mums and babies and no two are the same.
Ask a woman who has had more than one baby and she will tell you that each pregnancy was individual and different. There is no rigid tick box for your individual pregnancy and what you may experience can be totally within normal limits. Ali is a life coach and has skills around problem solving and getting solutions. Her first pregnancy was more structured and researched and the subsequent was more relaxed and a totally different pregnancy. In fact this latest pregnancy had much more sickness and feeling unwell yet Ali knew things were fine because she started to listen to her body.
Today we are not encouraged to do that because machines are responsible for all the information we gather. Although these machines have their use there is a down side. We are less and less human about dealing with women. The doctor who would take your pulse, look at your tongue and then listen to you with interest is a thing of the past. They do not have the time, the system has made that impossible. It has been replaced with blood pressure and weight gain as if those are the most reliable measures of health or disease. Today everything has to be measured for statistical reasons. You cannot measure the individual experience of a Mum if it does not fit on the sheet. Something to think about when you have your tests?
Scans during Pregnancy – the positives and negatives
Mirabelle, a 39 week pregnant mum talks through the pros and cons of scans during pregnancy.
There are many factors influencing the result of a pregnancy scan.
An ultrasound scan is designed by health professionals to highlight any problems during a pregnancy.
This is at odds with the aim of the parents as they are looking for everything to be normal. This difference in focus may seem minor but can lead to a conflict of interest. If for example I am trying to prove you guilty and you are trying to prove yourself innocent then we are coming from opposing views and motivations.
This must have an influence on proceedings and outcome. It is not uncommon for a parent to observe a professional closely for body language and any signs of intensity. Any questions over absolute health can distress a new parent and lead to further stress related problems. More stress during pregnancy is not useful for Mum Dad or baby. If there are any concerns around normality then a pregnant mum will be scanned more frequently.
What does this do to the baby and the pregnant mum?
The anxiety caused by a questionable scan will cause distress to a pregnant mum and dad. Minor abnormalities are often self corrected during the normal progression and development of foetal life.
This brings in to question the validity and accuracy of results and the pros and cons of scanning.
A new parent will want to know how things are going and whether their baby is healthy and normal. Scanning can be very useful in highlighting major health or genetic problems however it must be recognised that their accuracy is always down to human interpretation. If you are concerned about the safety of pregnancy scans please do your research. As you will see on the video with Mirabelle, scans are not always a comforting experience. We are pleased to announce that Mirabelle gave birth to a healthy boy “Paul” a few days after the interview. We thank her for supporting the ongoing development of this important subject.
With more and more testing procedures today, is it possible we are getting more and more fearful?
This is impossible to measure and yet an important factor to consider.
Helen has also been considering the safety of scans in her pregnancy diary.
Click here to view Mirabelle’s osteopathic treatment.
How to get the best from IVF – or maybe you don't need it?
Claudia thought she was living a healthy life and had tried for many years to fall pregnant. After a talk she attended at which Craig spoke, she went away with new advice for a healthier pregnancy. IVF is a challenge for the body both physically and emotionally, not to mention the chemical impact. If you are having IVF or IVF embryo transfer, whatever part of the process then surely preparing the soil (the womb or uterus) is going to give you a better chance. IVF success rates are low and Craig believes it is because we need to do more preparation with the Mum to give the body a good chance. See the section on preparing for IVF.
To think about
When a woman is struggling to conceive it goes right to the core and hurts deeply. Women make it mean something about them and Craig has found that often it is a case of fine tuning their body. In most women the capability and hardware is already in place, we need to look at the cause of why it is not happening and give the body the best chance of IVF success. To place a job onto a person or their body who may not be equipped or ready for it can stress the body more. An emotional block, chemical imbalance or structural problem may all lead to difficulty. Preparation for IVF has to be a good idea.
Leo Moynihan on being a dad
Is it all doom and gloom for Dads?
How exciting can fatherhood be?
How can fathers do a great job?
Leo Moynihan is a professional Dad who write articles and books on football. He gets frustrated at the negative impression of fatherhood and has enjoyed being a Dad immensely. Leo understands the challenges for a new Dad and explains how you get through them. A very down to earth Dad he does what comes naturally for his daughter and shows how the journey is unknown yet still exciting.