Preparing for Pregnancy – a mum’s view

Homebirth is an option most would scoff at and yet the latest research shows it is the safest option.

How has our culture arrived at this place? There is only one answer – FEAR!

Mum Carlotta explains some of her and her husbands’ preparation and their journey. It is important to know that your journey will be individual. Preparation is important in any field of endeavour. Great preparation however, is crucial for getting the result you want. Today there are many negative influences for Mums and Dads and our culture has a belief that birth is painful, traumatic and dangerous. That may not be accurate, in fact we know it to be completely false.

Would you feel more safe in your own home or a completely new environment?

Would you feel safer with your partner, family, friends or with complete strangers?

Would you feel more comfortable knowing what you are doing is normal or having a hospital procedure?

It is for those reasons a mum will always struggle in a hospital. With intervention rates at around 80% the figures tell the story. A woman must feel safe to give birth – her entire physiology workings of her body is linked to being secure. For some women the hospital is the safer option in their conscious mind. The problem arises in birth when the subconscious takes over. To birth a woman does not use her cognitive modern day brain. She will use her older animal brain that governs normal functions like digestion, breathing and reproduction. The conscious awareness of danger is at conflict with her animal responsiveness of wanting to be loved and protected. Try experiencing love with a stranger examining your nether regions! We have made it difficult for mums to birth successfully today and because humans are such great survivors, fear is the driving force.

Having been at home births and hospital births I can honestly say the two are miles apart. For some a hospital birth is necessary due to medical history and risk factors. Today the few become the norm, as is the case with vitamin K injections. One in ten thousand are at risk and yet we treat the entire population. Perhaps there is a financial reason for that occurring As with the vitamin K conversation there is always more to the picture than meets the eye.

When I suggested considering a homebirth originally there was a shocked look and the conviction that Dad would never go with that. After thorough investigation and research they were clear that a homebirth was by far the best option for them. Mum Carlotta was after a home birth but unfortunately went in to labour four weeks early and was unable to get that outcome. Mum and baby are doing fine though which is what is most important.

What was most impressive was the great preparation both mum and dad did during their pregnancy.

The preparation required in pregnancy is more important than any other time because it is the foundation of your child’s future. This should not be seen from a guilt perspective because that will be counter-productive. The motivation must be love because that will inspire and ensure clarity with what you do. At Pregnancy and Preparation we know that creating an environment that works for Mum and Dad will give the best possible chance of the result you aspire to. This is not always guaranteed because there are many factors influencing you and your pregnancy. Women tend to start nest building at around week 34 and that means they get the builders in and chaos ensues. The stress levels are often very high and they genuinely feel that this is required for a happy baby. It is not! What does a baby really want? It just wants a happy healthy mum and dad who can love her and keep her safe. That requires no special toys, no special decoration, no rebuild of the guest wing. Amazingly enough the things that are genuinely required cost nothing or very little.

Why not try an exercise?

Write to your baby and ask it a few questions like what sort of birth would you like? What do you want in your room? What do you want me to do over the next few weeks to help you be healthy and happy? Once you ask these questions your subconscious will come forward and guide you to your true desires. Then ask your best friend or partner to be the baby and answer the questions for you. You can answer them too then marry up all the conversations. Be ready for a surprise!

For more information about home births check out our interview with midwife Jacquelyn Crow.